Holy Watchfulness

Oh what a bee oot iful morning!

2011-10-21T09:06:00.010-06:00

Oh what a beautiful day!

It is truly that. Fall is the MOST beautiful time in Taos. Who ever saw such dramatic colors - gorgeous golds and reds and blues, crisp air and amazing light.
Artists came to Taos to paint early in the last century, actually beginning to travel here late in the previous one. The air is still clear,color is magnified, and often as the weather cools it is scented with the smell of pinon (sorry no tilde) wood smoke.

Taos Mountain (Elevation 13161 feet elevation) is so beautiful. Close to to the town (7000 feet elevation)that nestles at its feet ; it is rugged and spectacular, the colors clear and personal with shadows outlining deep forest canyons in which you can imagine yourself walking.

I will show some pictures so you can enjoy it this morning too. God is AMAZING, ASTONISHING in His Creation! Thanks be to God!

A beautiful video

2011-10-13T20:34:00.002-06:00

Here is a wonderful video I just came across. Beautiful imagery and chant from Optima Monastery in Russia.

Thoughts on Beginning

2011-09-15T08:25:00.003-06:00

There are some wonderful and powerful little prayers that are in my little red Antiochian Orthodox prayer book.

They are an excellent beginning to a project or to a day.
First and very important:

A PRAYER OF REPENTANCE
O Lord our God, good and merciful, I acknowledge all my sins which I have committed every day of my life, in thought, word and deed; in body and soul alike. I am heartily sorry that I have ever offended thee, and I sincerely repent; with tears I humbly pray thee, O Lord: of they mercy forgive me all my past transgressions and absolve me from them. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy Grace, to amend my way of life and to sin no more; that I may walk in the way of the righteous and offer praise and glory to the Name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.

A PRAYER BEFORE COMMENCING ANY TASK

Almighty God, our Help and Refuge, Fountain of wisdom and Tower of strength, who knowest that I can do nothing without thy guidance and help; assist me, I pray thee and direct me to divine wisdom and power, that I may accomplish this task, and whatever I may undertake to do, faithfully and diligently, according to thy will , so that it may be profitable to myself and others, and to the glory of thy Holy Name. For thine is the kingdom and the power, and the glory, of the Father, and the Son, and of the Holy Spirit: now and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen.

Often within a day or a project we can get moved away from our direction and start thinking about ourselves, our image, our success. That is a bad place to be for a fact, for it is painful and stunts our abilities. If we move in the flow of God's blessing and His Way in what we are doing then what a joy it is! Thanks be to God!
Remember that is sin is defined as getting off of the path that God has set before us. In sin we separate ourselves from Him.

Christ as a Man

2011-08-29T11:07:00.006-06:00

I came across an very interesting video the other night that was downloadable through ITunes at the time to computer or I phone/I pad, or for purchase.
The series from the History Channel, is called "The Real Face of Jesus?".

Ray Downing a computer graphics artist worked to recreate Jesus' form and face in 3D imagery. He and his team used the Shroud of Turin as reference to recreate the way that Jesus may have looked. It is highly fascinating. Never before has the reality of Jesus as a human being, as a man , been so real to me.

I can say that mentally I know that he is both Man and God, but seeing the images and viewing the discussion changed my sense of His physical reality from a mental idea to one of personal conviction.

On the down side, the film is repetitive which is tedious, because it was intended to be shown in shorter segments and as such has a lot of reviewing of previous segments. The music is highly dramatic and charged. Also some things in it were questionable, but there are many things that are covered that are very interesting and remarkable.

Currently a group of scientists and researchers have formed STURP (The Shroud of Turin Research Project)in an ongoing effort to examine the shroud in detailed analysis.

A little of that background:
"In 1978, a group of scientist conducted a round-the-clock examination of the Shroud for 120 hours.
During this time the Shroud is lengthily submitted to photographic floodlighting, to low-power X-rays and to narrow band ultraviolet light. Dozens of pieces of sticky tape are pressed onto its surface and removed. A side edge is unstitched and an apparatus inserted between the Shroud and its backing cloth to examine the underside, which has not been seen in over 400 years. The bottom edge (at the foot of the frontal image) is also unstitched and examined...Baima Bollone obtains sample of Shroud bloodstain by mechanically disentangling warp and weft threads in the area of the 'small of the back' bloodstain on the Shroud's dorsal image...performing dozens of tests, taking thousands of photographs, photomicrographs, x-rays and spectra. A total of 120 continuous hours of testing is done, with team members working on different parts of the Shroud simultaneously. This is the most in-depth series of tests ever performed on the Shroud of Turin."

(From the web page-http://www.shroudstory.com/topic-sturp.htm)

Working together these two groups have created a very interesting video. Despite its shortfalls it is very well worth watching.

Please see comment below(Thanks for this info, Episcopalian!) -for some other options on seeing this on You Tube, as well as Itunes. It is probably rent-able from Netflix as well.

Check this out- Very worth listening to!

2011-07-02T19:23:00.001-06:00

Eastern Orthodoxy and Mysticism: The Transformation of the Senses - Hieromonk Irenei Steenberg
November 2010

In the silence of the desert, in the solitude of the cell, free from worldly entanglements, one could ascend to the contemplation and knowledge of God, and loving union with Him. This inner tradition of becoming “sharers of the divine nature” (2 Peter: 4 ) — all but lost to modern Christianity — survives, almost unchanged over the centuries in certain corners of the Eastern Orthodox Church.
Hieromonk Irenei Steenberg is the founder of Monachos.net, the world’s premier site on the Church Fathers, monasticism, spirituality, and Church history and theology. He can also be heard on Ancient Faith Radio on his podcast ‘A Word From the Holy Fathers’. Hieromonk Irenei is one of Orthodoxy’s most gifted thinkers, writers and public speakers and this is his exclusive seminar in southern California in 2010.

http://ancientfaith.com/specials/eastern_orthodoxy_and_mysticism

Check this out-

2011-07-02T19:23:00.000-06:00

Pain Relief

2011-06-23T20:56:00.003-06:00

I have been doing some silent sitting focusing on areas of pain...my feet hurt!!!
I put the Mother of God in those places of pain. Sitting silently and searching out each little place that hurts. I spend some time with this and it really, really helps.
Thanks be to God for His Beloved Mother!

Above: The Kursk Mother of God Icon

I have a new eye!

2011-05-19T22:17:00.006-06:00

I had a cataract operation today and it was most interesting. I could go back and do it again! (And will probably have to as I have one more of them.)
What a science! Refined to the inth degree.

I understand that an English doctor who invented the process found out that pilots, during World War 2, could still see with plastic from broken windshields embedded in their eyes. Through trial and error (and blindness) we have the procedure that was used today on me in Santa Fe. Amazing.

The Eye Surgeon was Dr. Arthur Weinstein (Eye Associates of New Mexico) who has not only great skill but a remarkable team of helpers. I can see why he has such high recommendations.

May God's grace help the inner eye of my heart to improve as well!

Look what Heavenly Ladder just got!

2011-05-13T19:22:00.024-06:00

Thought I would start sharing with you some of the treasures that we have just gotten at the bookstore.
It's great to unwrap those mystery packages and see what the object that I thought looked so good online really looks like!

Here is a peek:

Uh-oh...Looks like it has peanuts. I wish that they had never been invented. What a mess. But I guess I have to remember how many fragile things that they have protected from here to there. Well this is kind of fragile so I guess they probably do a better job that some other things. I would sure vote for those blow up bags, they at least are recyclable.

Must be that peanuts is what the company thinks is best. Guess I'll put all of these top Styrofoam puffs in a bag so at least they are contained.

Well lets see how this looks.

Oh! Cute. Look at these clever little cookie presses. They could be used for bread too.

Here are some of the kinds that I got:

Jerusalem Cross...wow huh!

Look at this...a Celtic Shield. Very cool!

Here is a Russian Cross. I like that one.
There is also a Greek Cross.
This is how they look on my window table ready to sell. I like that they come with a cookie recipe that works well with them.

Pretty neat!

Want to know what else is in that corner of the Book Store?
Look at these candles that the Monastery of Saint Michael the Archangel makes in Canones, New Mexico. They are beeswax and they smell wonderful, like honey. Two sizes as you can see, a church candle size and a Bishop's candle (just right for a dinner table!)

These items will be posted on our website for sale. If you are interested check them out
http://heavenlyladder.weebly.com/look-at-this.html (Will need to copy and paste...link didn't work.)

On a 'Spiritual Testament'

2011-04-11T17:02:00.002-06:00

A 'Spiritual Testament' was reviewed in this interview by Bobby Maddox at Ancient Faith Radio.

http://ancientfaith.com/podcasts/features/

A Deep Thought for Great Lent

2011-03-16T20:32:00.008-06:00

A friend and I have been doing a bookstudy on We Shall See Him As He Is: The Spiritual Autobiography of Elder Sophrony .
This is a very rich book, full of deep insight. Which incidentally we carry at Heavenly Ladder Books.

Here is to me a powerful statement from that book:

God does not participate in our darkness.

More on Icons

2011-02-10T20:58:00.006-07:00

Here is a wonderful quote from Metropolitan Jonah:

As St. John Chrysostom wrote, somewhere, "When you pray before your Icons, light a candle and then close your eyes! The icon is a sacrament of the Presence."

Tonight the lampada that hangs at my altar sends its red glow onto an icon of St. Nicholas. It gives the appearance of a fiery glow on his heart and I can almost see the face of Christ in that glow.

Doesn't St. Seraphim of Sarov say something about becoming truly fire?

I logically don't really need to see it to know that for St. Nicholas it is there,Christ perpetually in the heart. However have to say, I'm glad that I did see it just like that.

Observation

2011-01-29T20:40:00.006-07:00

There is a very wonderful icon in our Mother of God’s little Chapel – Holy Annunciation.
It is an icon of St. Peter raising St. Tabitha. St. Peter is standing above her as she is laying on her couch, while the women standing behind her are mourning. I was startled by what one doesn’t see as I was waiting for the service to begin. It is the triad that is part of the intent of the icon, God the third ‘person’ in that image.
(Note: In any icon there is always the "outside" image of God. God is seen in a variety of ways, as a small Christ with a blessing hand in the corner, or as in the case of the Annunciation icon or Descent of the Holy Spirit icon as a circle with rays and perhaps a dove descending and sometimes with no image depicted but an understood Presence.)_

How like the Trinity that is in concept, three persons, The Father, The Son, The Holy Spirit, all entities loving one another in absolute harmony, and One in thought, in regard for one another, and in equality. Behold, the One who makes the healing possible. And what a revelation in the concept of healing. The doer, the do-ee, and the God Head making all things happen.

Returning to the theme of the previous two blogs written about giving to God on a personal level = it could be said that a gift needs to be especially aimed at the receiver. We wouldn’t give a cook a shovel, unless the cook also loved to garden.

One thing we surely know about God is how much He loves his people. What great lengths he has gone to help them out of their fall into sin! (departure from God).

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. (John 15:12)

If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, "Love your neighbor as yourself," you are doing right. (James 2:8)

The Peter/Tabitha icon is a type for who we need to be in our relation to God - as loving, helping people and in our relation to our neighbor - as loving, helping people.

Some background:
36In Joppa there was a disciple named Tabitha (which, when translated, is Dorcasb), who was always doing good and helping the poor. 37About that time she became sick and died, and her body was washed and placed in an upstairs room. 38Lydda was near Joppa; so when the disciples heard that Peter was in Lydda, they sent two men to him and urged him, “Please come at once!”
39Peter went with them, and when he arrived he was taken upstairs to the room. All the widows stood around him, crying and showing him the robes and other clothing that Dorcas had made while she was still with them.
40Peter sent them all out of the room; then he got down on his knees and prayed. Turning toward the dead woman, he said, “Tabitha, get up.” She opened her eyes, and seeing Peter she sat up. 41He took her by the hand and helped her to her feet. Then he called the believers and the widows and presented her to them alive. 42This became known all over Joppa, and many people believed in the Lord. 43Peter stayed in Joppa for some time with a tanner named Simon.

Strawberries

2011-01-21T20:53:00.004-07:00

Continuing in the same vein, as the entry below, that is, moving in a truly personal relationship with God lets think about this. How does this work?

With a loved one you would say for example… ‘Here I brought you a chocolate truffle. I bought it just for you.’

This entails your going down to the store (time), using your money to buy something very special and maybe a little pricey (so perhaps there is some added sacrifice there), for the person that you love. In your attempt to show them how much you love them you step out of your way to do or even create something that is thoughtful and special for them.

How can one do that for God? Here is a beautiful example!

HYMN OF PRAISE
SAINT MACARIUS THE GREAT
In Egypt, in the desert
Great loved reigned
Among the simple monks,
As in the kingdom of the saints.

Saint Macarius was
as a cherubim among them.
In every good deed
An example to the monks was he.

Macarius became ill;
For him, a monk went out to seek wild strawberries,
He went forth, he found, and he brought them
To soothe his elder's pain.

To partake of them, Macarius did not want,
He said, "There is a brother more ill.
Bring it to him; this gift is
more needed to that brother."

The second ailing brother cried and,
To the gift-bearer, said: "Forgive me!
But my neighbor is more needy
Of this charity than I."

The gift-bearer, the gift he took away
And, to that neighbor, gave it,
This one gave it to a third,
And that one to a fourth; all in order,

From cell to cell,
And from brother to brother,
Until the last one with the strawberries
To Macarius, at the door!

"Behold, father, you are ill!"
Macarius began to weep,
Seeing this wonderful brotherly love -
Neither did he want to eat.

He spilled them over the hot sand,
And, to God he gave thanks,
That the dead, arid desert,
Because of love, became Paradise.

The more a brother loves his brother
Than he loves himself:
"O Lord, the gift is this,
The gift of love, the gift from You!"

From the Prologue of Ohrid, St. Nikolai Velimirovch for January 19

Here is also an example of St. Nikolai's love of St. Marcarius and of God!

From Personal Blindness

2011-01-17T19:46:00.006-07:00

I have been pondering my eyes,that are beginning, rather have begun... to be somewhat useless on their own for close work. I have to put on glasses now to read, where before I could at least squint and get by with it. It is frustrating as a physical reality.

But what does that me to me on a spiritual basis?

How much does God do for me in His amazing Mercy and Grace that I am unaware of?

That is the question of the week.

I see a lot of things that come my way by just thinking, 'Here is a need'. And before I know it, God in His graciousness has filled that need.

Hmmm.

I was thinking today while I was in the grocery store: 'I don't do enough for You.' So I bought an expensive bottle of olive oil to burn. I was surprised that was hard to do. The ready advice says, "What a waste of perfectly good money."

But then I did buy it...'Just for You because you are so wonderful to me.'
As I was taking it down from the shelf, I had another little conversation with myself, saying as I was thinking of buying it:

'Maybe I should give this same money to someone who needs it'. But it seemed very right to buy a really beautiful gift for my beloved God. So I did.

When I got outside the grocery store, there was a young woman who approached me and was begging, needing money to catch a bus home. She was running away from a brutal relationship. So I gave her half the fare. In retrospect I see that it was the same amount as the bottle of olive oil.

God gave me the opportunity to give to him in both ways today. Wasn't that interesting.

God is as close as one's calling upon Him (crying out to Him.)

How much more can I see if I look really closely.

The Next and Maybe Last Winner

2010-12-20T09:47:00.001-07:00

The winner of the drawing of the next and I think last book is H. West. You have won a copy of The Tumbled Stone. Please let me know where to send it! Congratulations!

Last Chance

2010-12-16T11:25:00.002-07:00

The drawing for the last free book, The Tumbled Stone, will be on Sunday the 19th. I have quite a few names in the box. Which one will be the lucky winner?
If you haven't given me your name yet please send me a post and let me know what name to put in the box of potential winners.
Going, going.....

And the winner is....

2010-12-06T16:56:00.003-07:00

Congratulations to Ana Adams! A young naturalist who picked The Tumbled Stone.
One more drawing to go on December 19th and announced on the 20th. A great surprise for someone for Christmas. If you haven't already entered the drawing please send your name and you will be added to the box for a potential win.

Hurray for Ana...On its way to you now by Media Mail!

Well Here We Go!

2010-12-04T15:50:00.005-07:00

This last week our schedule was in the newspaper. Oh no I thought. We aren't open yet but as I began to think..."This means we are going to be open!" And sure enough. We will be opening on Monday. There is a little anxiety re: wonder how long it will take to make all of those beverages. But then Thanks be to God. God's will be done after all whose coffee house and chapel is this!
So we are in gear.
The drawing will be held as scheduled on December 5th and announced on the 6th. But here is the deal. If you don't win this time you will have yet one more chance to do so as all of the names will stay in the pot except the one drawn. We would like to include the Taos Community as part of the drawing so yet another drawing will be held on the 19th and announced on the 20th.
Talk about really giving those books away! Hurray for the winners and hurray for those who have submitted their names to our game of chance.
We hope if you are in the area you will come and see us.
This is a great location.

An Unexpected Turn

2010-11-18T15:23:00.003-07:00

Good for God!!!
The article announcing the opening of Holy Annunciation and Heavenly Ladder Books didn't make it into the paper today.

The insurance lady, Marilyn just called and the insurance is stalled and it will be after the first of the week before she can get it moving.

So isn't that interesting. God knows these things.

I did talk to the editor, Joan today and things sound promising to have it in the paper with photos (which I didn't have this week), but sounds as if we will have to wait until we have the insurance which will be next week we hope.
So as a result the drawing for the book will be December 5th and announced on the 6th, rather than this Sunday. I would like to have the drawing in conjunction with the Chapel/Book Store opening.
So keep those names coming and we will have a magnificent drawing!!!

The Winner of The Tumbled Stone!!!

2010-11-15T06:54:00.003-07:00

Jennifer Park your name was drawn last night at 9:20 PM, Mountain Standard Time.

Congratulations!

For all those who would like to enter the next drawing please send me your names and that drawing will be held on Sunday the 21st of November.
Your choice, The Tumbled Stone or Song of the Talanton (with accompanying cd)

More on Book Give Away

2010-11-14T15:53:00.004-07:00

Hope you all weren't bashful about copying and pasting the name of the other authors on Google, because embarrassed to say, the web pages etc. of some didn't show up on the page. Please forgive to the authors and to those of you who felt frustrated by that.
There is still time to enter my give-away. I plan to do the drawing this evening. In fact I even have a impartial draw-er to do the job.
I plan to keep the names of people that have submitted for the next drawing. Winner is out unless you re-submit. Let people that you know submit their names for the next drawing which will be done on the evening of the 21st. Our new bookstore will open the 22nd.
I am game to let the winner have a choice of either book. The new one, The Tumbled Stone, New Varatec Press, Protection of the Holy Virgin Orthodox Monastery, Lake George, CO, 719-748-3999 (if you are interested in ordering copies) or Song of the Talanton, Conciliar Press, http://www.conciliarpress.com/catalogsearch/result/?q=Claire+Brandenburg&x=0&y=0. I won't try to link it as the link tends to disappear.

5 Children's Book Authors Give away Books!! Sign up for the One that You Want!!

2010-11-10T15:56:00.009-07:00

Check out the Blogs or Web-Pages of the following authors for a great start at Christmas gift giving, for yourself or for someone that you know. Free books are being given away by these authors ~ sign up for a chance to win now!!!! The First Drawing will be on November 14 and the winner announced on the 15th.

All the names will be dumped after that drawing. Then there will be another drawing on November the 21st for the book, Song of the Talanton (Includes CD) (Conciliar Press) You will need to send your name after the 15th to be included in that drawing. That drawing will coincide with the opening of Heavenly Ladder Books, Arts, Coffee and Tea .

Our first day in operation with a service in the Chapel will begin on Monday, November 22, also my brother's birthday and the beginning of the week of Thanksgiving. How nice is that!

To enter one of my drawings please email me your name though the comments section under this entry and I will put your name in the hopper. The name of the winner of my drawings will be entered on this blog.

Author Chrissi Hart has a Doctorate in Psychology from the University of Leicester, UK. As a Chartered Clinical Psychologist in England, she helped troubled children for twenty years. Born in Cyprus, Chrissi now writes stories for children from her cultural heritage that are inspiring and spiritually satisfying. She lives in York, Pennsylvania, with her husband Barry and children, Adam and Sophia. They attend St. John Chrysostom Antiochian Orthodox Church, where Chrissi is a choir member and tends the church gardens. She has a podcast slot on Ancient Faith Radio with the reading of Children’s Books. Chrissi will be giving away a copy of The Hermit, the Icon and the Emperor.(Conciliar Press) On her podcast she reads the various books: See this page for her book give away:http://chrissihart.com/2010/11/book-give-away-the-hermit-the-icon-and-the-emperor-2/

Heather Zydek is a novelist and English teacher who lives in Wauwatosa, Wisconsin with her husband and three daughters. She served as editor of the books The Revolution: A field manual for changing your world and The Relevant Nation: 50 Activists, Artists and Innovators who are changing their world with faith (Relevant Books, 2006). Learn more about her work at www.heatherzydek.com. Heather will be giving away her book, Basil’s Search for Miracles,(Conciliar Press) on her website.

Jane G. Meyer was a contributing editor and columnist for a journal for Orthodox Christian women, The Handmaiden , and is an active author who has published two books through SVS Press, and another, The Life of Saint Brigid, through Conciliar Press. This week she is giving away a copy of
The Woman and the Wheat on her blog. Find her at http://www.jangemeyer.com or http://janegmeyer.wordpress.com

Katherine Bolger Hyde has been associated with Conciliar Press in some capacity for the last sixteen years, and is currently serves on a freelance basis as their acquisitions editor. She is also an author and will be giving away a copy of her book, Lucia, Saint of Light (Conciliar Press) Blog: http://kbhyde.wordpress.com
Website: http://www.kbhyde.com/lucia
Lucia on Conciliar site: http://www.conciliarpress.com/lucia-saint-of-light.html
Jane’s review of Lucia on AFR: http://http://ancientfaith.com/podcasts/speakingofbooks/lucia_saint_of_light

Claire Brandenburg has working in a variety of different art forms. She has exhibited her work in galleries and museums and has received numerous awards. In the last 10 years she has used both picture and word in the writing and illustration of Orthodox children’s books. She is currently starting a bookstore, Heavenly Ladder and reader’s Chapel, Holy Annunciation in Taos, N.M of which she is acting as manager through Holy Trinity Orthodox Church in Santa Fe, NM
See , Claire Brandenburg (FaceBook) , . She will be giving away a copy of the Tumbled Stone, (New Varatec Publishing, a small press through the Protection of the Mother of God Orthodox Monastery in Lake George, Colorado) on her blogspot and on facebook.

Moving to a New Website

2010-09-17T14:20:00.008-06:00

I am picking up my marbles and moving to a new website representing Heavenly Ladder-Books, Arts,Coffee, Tea, Chocolate and Holy Annunciation Antiochian Orthodox Reader's Chapel. This website will keep you abreast of the happenings that will be a new part of my life. We are just beginning to work on the website and it will grow and expand as we are doing the same. Still not open and I am projecting the opening to hopefully be October the 25...THIS YEAR! Yeah!
At any rate this will be the new address:

http://heavenlyladder.weebly.com/index.html

See you there!

A Lull

2010-08-24T19:52:00.007-06:00

A new CD from Holy Trinity CDs will be offered in our
book store. It is called A Spiritual Testament from
St. Sergius of Kasimov, one of the New Confessors of
Russia. Excellent!

We are moving along with our process. We are waiting on many small details that need to happen which are the flash for a whole process to happen and our project to move forward. We are currently awaiting an acknowledgment from the IRS on Holy Trinity's 501 c3 status so that we can set up a new business in NM and open a bank account, merchant status for a credit card machine, a business application to the Town of Taos.
Who would think!
I see this waiting however as a very welcome break. Time to consider and to think. I went down to our business site that we will be renting, measured the furnishings and marked them with small pieces of paper to see how everything will fit, so now have a good idea of how we will put it together visually. How the space will work. Do we have enough furniture, where will we serve the food etc.
We would need to get a food license from the Environmental Office through the State to cook food; so decided on Food Service instead. This means everything has to come directly from the package and customers will need to serve themselves. Coffee can be made, tea etc. and put in air pots. My thought is it will be better to have the time with customers than to be a cook.
I somehow couldn't wrap my mind around how this would work but seem to now have a better concept thanks to good advise. There are still areas that I am not sure about. But we did decide that we would make 3-4 kinds of beverages for customer to try, making a different one each day - those being, coffee (1-2 flavors), tea, (alternating between herbal (ti sane) and regular tea) and sipping chocolate. We will start with one coffee flavor until we see what the flow of traffic is. We will be selling all of the above in different flavors in packaged form for the customer to take home along with interesting food items as well, all packaged.

We have been working on icons of various sizes, framed churches, small notepads, magnets, travel icons and cards to compliment our selection of great Orthodox Books.
It will be wonderful to get it all in place.
The space is very small but hopefully wonderful!
Drop in if you are in Taos.
We can't say yet when the opening will be. Mostly cooling our heels at the moment.

What's Happening?

2010-07-29T08:35:00.003-06:00

Yesterday I got many pieces of furnishings for the bookstore painted. One more shelf to go.
Things are beginning to take shape and that is very encouraging. I see order in the chaos, thanks be to God, without whose help I would have long ago run screaming from my studio.
Here is an interview on the Antiochian website that will tell you things that I haven't thought to tell you.

http://www.antiochian.org/node/23293

O Virgin Pure or Rejoice O Unwedded Bride

2010-07-05T14:38:00.004-06:00

I am up to my ears in travel. Mind scattered, I don't think of much to say but here to fill your heart is a beautiful Arabic Hymn, O Virgin Pure.
Sung by Archimandrite Pandeleimon (Farah), Igumen of the monastery of Hamatoura in Lebanon. Included with this is a slide show of the Cave Monastery of Hamatoura.

Very Beautiful!

Getting in Gear

2010-06-09T19:19:00.007-06:00

Things are beginning to move forward with our process of getting a Chapel and Bookstore started here. We met with the town and contractor. The contractor had to be specially qualified to do the ADA improvements that we needed to do. Fortunately the building inspector said that we didn't have to enlarge the doorways because the building is an older building. We do have to put up exit lights over the doorways with a fire extinguisher by each and add thresholds that are ADA approved creating a bit of a ramp into each of the two rooms and add a wheelchair accessible asphalt pad for parking with sign and sidewalk to the doorway.
The Chapel is a very nice space for us, about 7.5 feet wide and 22 feet long. Perfect for an iconostasis in the front with standing room for about 15 people and benches that we will put around the back for people that need to sit.
The Bookstore is about 17 feet by 22 feet, with a little back kitchen space. It would be ideal if we had a sink in that little room but good enough for now. The bathroom which is off of this small room is large which is great for the ADA requirements, about 8 feet square.
I have been amassing books, room decor and things to sell which are being stored in my studio(thanks to some wonderful donations). The studio is getting to be packed but I still have working space so that is great.
We will have a curtain across the iconostasis for a Royal Door. I have been working on printing a Annunciation image on linen on my computer, which can be sewn to the curtain. I will take it to church on Sunday and see what Father John thinks of it and if it will work in that respect. It looks good to me but he is the final determiner. I am hoping that my God son can build the iconostasis and am in process of working with him on it. A lot to do still but my guess is that we won't be open until mid to late August.
I am pleased actually with the delay, even though the hearing date with the Town has been pushed back a few times from our original start up time, as it has given me more time to gradually work on the details, as their are a variety of things to work on.

Living Water

2010-05-21T07:25:00.010-06:00

I have been wandering around various shops/stores trying to obtain goods for our approaching bookstore/chapel*. These stores, sometimes filled with things up even to the ceiling can be immensely soul oppressing. I happened to pass a little fountain busily burbling away on a dark hidden shelf. *Holy Annunciation Chapel and Bookstore soon to be in Taos, NM., August.

"Well just look at that! Life in the darkness."

It was amazing how that moving water was so alive in a huge collection of dead and lifeless objects. It brought to mind the story of St. Photina. Photina is drawing water at a well and Jesus approaches her and asks her for a drink and ends by offering her living water. (For the story go to John 4:9-26)

Our lives are very much like that sometimes. We realize that we are in a funk, a dead place where seemingly there is no life. It is important to be aware of our process so that we don't get caught in something that oppresses the life of the soul. That seems to happen to me when I get tunnel visioned with something so that all I can see is the project in front of me. If I stop for a moment and do something that is frivolous it helps a lot. Even better, there are things that I need to do to make something happen, so I have to keep on keeping on. If Jesus offers Living Water then it will be present in even that which oppresses. The focus is Christ, not the tedium at hand.

There is a wonderful old hymn of fundamentalist root that was about the funniest thing I had ever heard as a teenager. It was called "Telephone to Glory". I remember some of the words.

It went like this:

"Telephone to Glory over Joy Divine, you can feel the current moving down the line. Made by God the Father for His very own. You can talk to Jesus on the Royal Telephone." (Set to Country Western music)

Seems to me this song has stuck with me all of these years because it is where Living Water is. Our connection to God...Our taking the time to give Jesus a drink and then in return we get Living Water.

That 'giving Jesus a drink' can come in lots of forms: Helping someone else, playing and observing the life that comes from (for instance) folding paper, cutting something out and gluing it on something else, taking some time to pull some weeds focusing on only that spot and not the mass of weeds to the left of it, etc. Focus is the key word here...focusing and watching what comes of some simple act, watching the thread play itself out and following the thread. That thread is tied to a bucket with Living Water. Be mindful of the Water in the Process.

Byzantine Chant

2010-05-04T10:45:00.011-06:00

The Bookstore/Chapel is still in progress. There are so many things that combine to be part of it. I have been primarily working with the Town to get things in motion. We are stalled temporarily on changing a doorway, putting in exit lights and pricing a parking pad for wheelchair accessible use. This is an old building that we have our eyes on and are really not in any position financially to pay for big updates. We have gone to the owner to see if he will be willing to make those changes. We certainly pray so as it seems a wonderful space for this to happen. Keep us in your prayers!

Along with the idea of the chapel I have been looking at a very interesting website, Ancient Faith Radio, which is full of pod casts that are from great speakers, even readings of childrens books. They have workshops in Byzantine Chant which is just what I need to learn for the readers services. I can do straight chanting...but it will be great to build my knowledge and see what I can do with this.
If you are interested go here: http://ancientfaith.com/podcasts/glorytothee
Pictured above is St. Romanos the Saint par excellence of chanters and song writers of the Orthodox Church. St. Romanos pray for our memory and learning ability!
You can link backwards from here and see what else is offered. I downloaded the different tones so I can practice in the car as I travel. What a great thing!

Found

2010-04-22T10:34:00.009-06:00

I was cleaning out some drawers and came across a paper band that had been pulled off some Orthodox Word publications from St. Herman of Alaska Monastery Press. It incorporated several pieces of used papers. They were taped together to create a band that bundled a number of booklets. I had been using it as a bookmark at some time in the past, so I don't know how long it had been sitting there. It has a good word for today.

One page of the three taped pieces is from a random Orthodox Word;page 357:

"...ture, outstanding for a village church, compelled us to admire it for a long time. Then all of a sudden, before our eyes, right beneath our feet, a whole picture opened up--to the left there was a ravine, leading to a valley, We needed to bear right, so as to continue to the opposite edge of this ravine which, by a wide prominence, proceeded upwards, overlaid with bright emerald green in the gentle illumination of the setting sun, and which drew us to itself. We did not succeed in walking a hundred steps when an even more picturesque scene brought us to even greater astonishment. Right beneath our feet, from north to south, a ravine appeared, overgrown here and there with bushes, but for the most part covered with grass. From above, the eastern edges of this ravine were still all illumined by the parting rays of the setting sun, while below the evening shadows had already fallen. Goat paths led all the way to the bottom of this ravine. Luckily for me, I soon saw a small gully, probably left after a spring waterfall. I safely descended along it to the bottom of the ravine. Here at our feet there flowed pure, clear water, but the channel was quite narrow and we crossed it without any difficulty. At once there began a steep upgrade and we began to ascend by a narrow, winding trail. We had to stop two or three times to rest while we were climbing. But what is this water in fenced-off reservoirs? How could It be here on such a steep slope?!

We looked, and before us ran one thin trickling stream, then another, and over there a third, forming a tiny waterfall. This was excellent spring water, pure as crystal, ever so tasty, without any impurities or odor. We climbed upwards and glanced back. The sun departed beyond the horizon, the scarlet of the clouds died down and the evening twilight softly stole upon the earth. O Lord, O Lord--I thought--if only this earthly beauty would enchain my heart forever to the contemplation of eternal, unfading beauty! Scenes from sacred history swept over..."

Beautiful, that a writer of long ago can take one on such a contemporary journey. What a beautiful scrap to find.

Changes in the Air

2010-04-15T09:50:00.004-06:00

Christ is Risen!!!

Starting out an Orthodox bookstore (used and new) here, with a Chapel. We will be serving coffee, tea and goodies, great books and heart-full worship during the week. We will be having an occasional speaker in Fr. John on some Fridays followed by a Saturday morning Liturgy. Wow imagine that!! Maybe with a start up around June.

Hoping to gather some people that might be interested in Orthodoxy. We are working on a year's lease and hope it will be very successful! Right now we are jumping the hoops with the Town and Sign group then when we have the idea approved by the Town we will sign a lease. Lots of forms to fill out and hearings ahead of us to get a Special Use permit to do this.

I was thinking that we will be slow moving at first...had an encouraging dream last night. Dreamed there were all sorts of people coming in and out. May God bless the plan and the fulfillment there-of!!!

2010-04-05T16:25:00.001-06:00

Christ is Risen!!!
A Blessed Bright Week to you!

A time of sacrifice - Great Lent

2010-03-31T14:31:00.005-06:00

We are midway through Holy Week today...Wednesday! Imagine that!
I am going to Church tonight to a Holy Unction service and staying the night in Santa Fe.

I always love traveling New Mexico roads this time of year as there are lots of walkers on the road. You might wonder what a walker is. In the Roman Church many of the faithful walk to a church,usually El Santuario de Chimayo in this part of the world. El Santuario (The Shrine) was built between l8l4 and l8l6.

As I went down to church on Tuesday morning, there was a lone walker carrying a wooden cross. It was probably about 24" x 12", beautifully and carefully carved in a spiral design. I left early in the morning and by early afternoon as I was coming back I passed him again looking hot and tired. He had traveled about 20 miles. May God richly bless his sweet heart. He filled my heart passing him both times.

The Jesus Prayer

2010-03-18T10:02:00.006-06:00

I probably have used this title before and I am sure that I will use it again.

I was listening this morning to Metropolitan (used to be Abbot) Jonah's talk, From Psychology to Spirituality, (available through Holy Trinity CD's). I love having the series with me in the car as I drive around and do my errands. All I need is a little snippet of what he is saying to pray around and think about all day.

This morning's little piece had to do with thoughts...thoughts that you act on or that fill your head. He commented a few days ago during another errand, how our thoughts are 90% of who we are, an important point. Also on how thoughts run rampant. Mine were running rampant this morning.

As I left this morning to pick up a few necessities, I had to turn around midway up the road because I didn't think I had locked the back door. Sure enough I hadn't. Off again...this time I made it all the way to Walmart and realized I didn't have my purse. Hmmm. Back down the road, unlock the back door get the purse, go back to Walmart. I was exhausted already and hadn't even started. Does that tell you something about thoughts that are out of control?

Metropolitan Jonah meanwhile was saying something on the CD that was really important to my day. I am paraphrasing:'The thing to do is take charge of your thoughts and not to let them run you. Even the Buddhists feel that enlightenment is reached when the thoughts are conquered. The thing that they are missing is Christ, the Personal and the Other that comes into your being changes you, embrases you and temporaily pulls you into the Kingdom. To get there you have to work on get rid of the thoughts.'

He talks further about how if you can do this the world becomes illumined and one can see God in His creation, in those around one no matter who they are, no matter what their beliefs are.

I know because this is about the third time I have listened to this CD that the Jesus Prayer plays a very important part in taking your space back from the thoughts.

It seems to me that the Jesus prayer takes some time to get into, to break in so to speak, sort of like a pair of really good shoes. It becomes comfortable and helps you mightily down the path of life.

My goal this morning is to practice the prayer.

And by the way this CD package is highly recommended!

Soul Saturday

2010-03-06T20:29:00.009-07:00

On the OCA (Orthodox Church of America) website, I always enjoy the Feasts and Saints section which shows the icons of the day of Saints who are being honored, as well as telling their stories. I found in today's search that it is Soul Saturday. There is a custom, in honor of the soul of one who has reposed, that a donation is given, as well as prayer, as a remembrance to God.

In the printout it says:

"The angel who spoke to Cornelius testifies to the efficacy of almsgiving, 'Your prayers and your alms have ascended as a memorial before God." (Acts 10:4)

That is an interesting thought to me-of the spirit of giving ascending to God as a prayer, as alms. Here are a spiritual treasure and a material object side by side.

Somehow this 'picture' is very intriguing to me.

I have been thinking a lot lately about 'Mystery'. That is, that which is hidden and suddenly revealed. How are mystery and miracle alike?

An illustration of mystery:

I have had a lot of conversations with different people in the last few days about wild animals that have suddenly come into view, always surprising the viewer.

Depending on where you live that sometimes happens often, still it always seems a surprise when suddenly they are there. One realizes that they are around you, perhaps even seeing footprints showing that they are there, but not seeing the actual creature until whoa...there it is.

Mystery has that element of surprise. All of the sudden a 'wow' or
'look!' sort of thing.

Going back to the original theme, (giving alms in memory of someone, as a memorial to someone), I tend to think of that kind of gift primarily as a comfort to the family of the reposed, when in fact there is a MUCH bigger motion involved. It is an act that contains amazing mystery, an act unexpected in its outcome. Giving from your treasure (that which is carefully used, guarded even) in memory of a person for whom you have a regard.

It says that giving -period- has that power, but giving of what you guard...what you find most precious, has an even greater power.

That is a surprising mystery!

Chesnokov's Gabriel Appeared

2010-02-26T08:23:00.003-07:00

St. Simeon's Prayer

2010-02-26T08:03:00.001-07:00

The First and Second Finding of the Head of St. John the Forerunner

2010-02-25T09:35:00.005-07:00

Some days I get on the wrong track. I try to keep a daily remembrance of the Saints commemorations for each day. Sometimes my brain just does not take on what day it is, and I begin celebrating a saint's day early or a day late or think that I have missed a favorite saint's feast day. Weird the way my head can't take in things sometimes. I have to admit that I had a lot of ideas circling yesterday.

At any rate yesterday was the commemoration of the First and Second Finding of the Head of St. John the Forerunner. I thought I had missed it the day before and here it was yesterday. It seemed like the icon of St. John was giving me a curious look...(which it seems to me sometimes icons do). It was kind of a sad look, like "what is going on?!".

I found a reproduction of an icon a few years ago that is very powerful and one that has moved me greatly many times. This is an intriguing history as well. Here is the story:

After the Beheading of The Holy Prophet, Forerunner and Baptist John (August 29), his body was buried by disciples in the Samarian city of Sebaste, and his venerable head was hidden by Herodias in an unclean place. St. Joanna (June 27), the wife of King Herod's steward Chuza (Luke 8:3), secretly took the holy head and placed it into a vessel and buried it on the Mount of Olives on one of Herod's properties.

After many years, this property passed into the possession of a government official who became a monk with the name of Innocent. He built a church and a cell there. When they started to dig the foundation, the vessel with the venerable head of John the Baptist was uncovered. Innocent recognized its great holiness from the signs of grace emanating from it. Thus occurred the First Finding of the Head. Innocent preserved it with great piety, but fearful that the holy relic might be abused by unbelievers, before his own death he again hid it in that same place, where it was found. Upon his death the church fell into ruin and was destroyed.

During the days of St. Constantine the Great (May 21) , when Christianity began to flourish, the holy Forerunner appeared twice to two monks journeying to Jerusalem on pilgrimage to the holy places, and he revealed the location of his venerable head.

The monks uncovered the holy relic and, placing it into a sack of camel-hair, they proceeded homewards. Along the way they encountered and unnamed potter and give him the precious burden to carry. Not knowing what he was carrying, the potter continued on his way. But the holy Forerunner appeared to him and ordered him to flee from the careless and lazy monks, with what he held in his hands. The potter concealed himself from the monks and at home he preserved the venerable head with reverence. Before his death he place it in a water jug and gave it to his sister.

From that time the venerable head was successively preserved by devout Christians, until

the priest Eustathius (infected with the Arian heresy) came into possession of it. He beguiled a multitude of the infirm who had been healed by the holy head, ascribing their cures to the fact that it was in the possession of an arian. When his blasphemy was uncovered, he was compelled to flee. After he buried the holy relic in a cave, near Emesa, the heretic intended to return later and use it for disseminating falsehood. God, however, did not permit this. Pious monks settled in the cave, and then a monastery arose at this place in the year 452. St. John the Baptist appeared to Archimandrite Marcellus of this monastery and indicated where his head was hidden. This became celebrated as the Second Finding. The holy relic was transferred to Emesa, and later to Constantinople. (From the OCA site, Feasts and Saints)

And here is the reproduction of the icon that I find so moving. Even though a day late...may St. John bless us all!

Children's Book Illustration and writing

2010-02-22T08:41:00.006-07:00

I have created a facebook page that I plan to use as a venue for Children's Book illustration and writing. I have had several requests for information on this so if you are interested...go here.
Claire Brandenburg, Facebook...

You can see my books on my web page and places to purchase them on the links page.

The Fast

2010-02-20T15:46:00.007-07:00

I have been doing some reading lately that has, as so often happens a similar message but authors that are not related and from different times and places.
The message of both articles/books being that Christ came to earth and left as a legacy what... ? Not the Bible, but the Church.

The Church began at the death of Christ with passage of the teachings that Christ left to the disciples and of course with the teachings of Paul. It continued along with the growth of that teaching through martyrdoms, monasticism and word of mouth and the Bible, that record of the memory of God's relationship with His people, the Jews, and a recording of the memory of relationships with Christ the Messiah.

At the great schism it broke in two... 1054....with the one path leading on as it always had been and the other path renamed and re-theologized to become the Roman church. After that there were other breakings and re-theologizings until the "Christian Religion" came diluted into many teachings into this Century.

If one retraces that One Church and the practices that make up the ancient Church, one finds the Orthodox Christian Church; and it is found now in its motion in the prelude of Christ's continuing departure in Great and all Holy Lent.

The Fast.

What does the Fast do? It leads us away from the earthly physical beauty of the world into a closet, so to speak. A closet that should hang empty of things. It seems to me that I can fill that closet up again with the trappings of the world or I can not only leave it empty, but expand it in space and time and silence in willingness to have it be Jesus Christ's. The expansion happens through Confession and Sacrifice, and a putting away of the garments of the ego.

What are those garments? How are we to be re-created? Certainly not totally through our own mechanizations, but through this mystical season within the Church. Our actions can not really change who and what we are, but Jesus Christ can.

I underline mystical...something that happens in time and space through our efforts, in a certain direction, but not by our effort alone, but by an amazing miracle that takes place through Grace and our willingness to abandon our current self for one that God the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit re-create in us. Imagine....who did God create you to be before this world and your ego got hold of you? I cannot even conceive of that. But God can and does. The mystery awaits in the emptied closet.

The Fast is at hand.

The Church and its Body, the Saints will pray for us on our journey forward.

The Cross is at hand.

An interesting comment on Fasting

2010-02-05T23:17:00.005-07:00

This answer was posted on: http://en.allexperts.com/q/Eastern-Orthodox-1456/Fasting-rule.htm

I think you can guess the question. But maybe I should clarify just in case; this pertains to the Orthodox Christian practice of eating shellfish during a fast. I thought it fit right in with my thought process at the moment and with the upcoming Lenten Season as well. This was written in 2007 by "Herman".

I think that this is a great answer.

Glory to Jesus Christ! Traditionally, in earlier days, shellfish was not the delicacy it is considered today. Shellfish were considered trash, something to eat if nothing else was available. Also, there is no discernible blood. Blood is believed to be what stirs the passions. Based on this, shellfish was not prohibited. But it doesn't take much to figure out that a fancy expensive lobster dinner, while "legal" in a literal sense, violates the "spirit" of the Holy Fast. Meals should be small and simple. Money that would have been spent on meat is given in alms for the poor. "Trash" shellfish in coastal societies would be relatively cheap and often eaten by the poor, but not in our society so much today unless you live on the coast and go clamming or crabbing for yourself!Fasting is spiritual exercise. Like any kind of exercise, we must find out what we are capable of. There is as much or more danger in overdoing as there is in under doing. In determining an appropriate fasting regime for yourself, it is always a good idea to check with your priest, just like when we ask a coach at the gym for advice before we start pressing 400 lb. free weights. Not enough effort and we do not see the results we desire and become discouraged. Too much effort and we "burn out" or perhaps even hurt ourselves. The key is to not get too focused on the "rules" and to do what you can, always striving to do a little better next time. Push yourself, but recognize your limits.Wishing you a blessed and spiritually profitable Lenten Spring and a blessed and joyous Holy Pascha!Your servant,Herman

In Response

2010-02-05T11:00:00.004-07:00

I realize that my thought of the Feast means that I give permission for my body, (the obsessive creature that it is), to have most every thing to eat that it wants. This defeats the path of the Fast.

The Fast focuses on limiting the body so as to benefit the soul. The development of the soul is the purpose of life. Making it conscious of God through Jesus Christ and ultimately by God's Grace and by my own direction, repentance, etc., and becoming One with God. This is a never ending and challenging process. One that only the saints have achieved;but being humanly possible through their example, a path that might be obtainable. The supreme desire being closeness and relationship with Jesus Christ and my desire for the Kingdom.

One does that by limiting the body's desires. The body is like a spoiled and demanding child. It is up to me to guide it and allow it the things it has, rather than letting it run out of control.
So in the Fast one guides it, directs it and allows it things under the rule of the Church. It is easier for me because I can say, these are the options. Without having that "rule", it is most difficult.

So I need to think about a rule for Feasting. I do better with guidelines. What is a good way for my body to behave that will help my soul grow? I think of the 'Wedding in Cana', where the Mother of God asked Jesus to make water into wine as the wine had run out. He made better wine for the guests that the host had provided. So He wants the Feast to be the best. Wine alone doesn't make a Feast. His Presence does.

In the story of the 'Prodigal Son', the father prepares the fatted calf for his wayward son. The best! But there would have been no Feast for that son if he had not returned and begged his father to forgive him and be joined with and in the company of his father.

Hmmm...this calls to mind the 'golden calf' that was erected by the Jews on their way to the promised land.

The Feast has the true focus of the Presence of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
This requires yet more prayer and thought.

February 3, 2010???

2010-02-03T21:09:00.005-07:00

Wait a minute! I thought it was January at least, not already the Leavetaking of the Presentation at the Temple. But reality is setting in now that I think about it. Lent is on the way and Pascha is down the road.

I enjoy Lent a lot. In fact often I think that it would be good to eat fasting food all of the time, a leaner more watchful way to live. The hard thing is the feasting. I always get out of control. There ought to be a way to think about feasting that would be just as watchful as fasting.

Perhaps limiting amounts of feasting foods would be a way to do that. Perhaps being more thankful for such amazing abundance and variety would also be part of that plan rather than easily getting used to it. As a random thought I think rich foods kind of kill or numb ones taste buds. Fat sparkles on the tongue and it wants just more in quantity. Surely the feasting has to do with celebration, joy in the goodness of good times, people that one loves and of course, God who is the greatest feast.

Maybe there is someone out there that can tell me something that will really hit my heart about feasting. Hello?

Can it finally be January?

2010-01-22T07:20:00.010-07:00

I can't believe a month has gone by since I wrote last. How time flies! A very snowy morning here in Northern NM. The big storm is at our doorstep and a strange sleepiness has overcome me. A good day to stay inside....6 inches and counting.

I have been looking for a commercial place to rent. I (we) have the idea, (in conjunction with Holy Trinity Orthodox Church in Santa Fe), that it might be good to see if we can collect some people interested in Orthodoxy here. I looked at one place. Too hidden. I looked at another in a great location, the door and bathroom were in the east corner, (want to set up a big icon corner) so that seemed not quite the right place. Also the bathroom is shared with the next office and that seems like it might not be so good.

Seems to me this morning that there is some other place that I haven't come across yet that might be just perfect. I feel that Jesus is telling me to look a little further. I don't quite know the shape of what I want to put in there. Certainly there will be books and lots of icons, and lots of prayer.

While I am praying and thinking that out there is something to look at, someone sent this to me. It is a fascinating site with 360 degree pictures of the Holy Sepulchre. Try clicking on the the bottom and you can look at the beautiful floors in different parts of the Great and Holy Church. Swing the picture to the top and and the ceiling can be viewed. Use the arrow keys to view different rooms. A pretty stunning virtual trip into this Holy place of Jerusalem!

http://www.360tr.com/kudus/kiyamet_eng/index.html

Powerful!

2009-12-21T08:49:00.001-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvjiVam2HO4

Thoughts on the coming Nativity of Jesus Christ

2009-12-19T08:23:00.010-07:00

I ordered from Holy Trinity Monastery in Jordanville, NY, book 2, of their book series of Akathists (prayers for a specific feast day or a saint). In it is the Akathist Hymn to the Nativity of Christ. It is very lovely, powerful and moving!

This morning into the prayer, I accidentally inserted a word that wasn't there, but evokes a great and powerful thought. Brokenness.

We are broken in our sinfulness. There are slights to others where we do not show love but our own self will. We have made ourselves little gods, wanting things to be the way we command them, we want to create others in our image, in fact we want to create God in our image. It is hardly even necessary to mention the common equation of sinfulness which elicits ideas of stealing, murder etc.

We see ordinary people around us that are broken. People hiding behind a wall of protection so their god-ship won't be threatened. People mentally off in another world of their own devising. The here and now, true reality is hard to deal with. We can't change it and we can't change the truth of it.

I used to see a young man who wandering around town talking to himself, wearing a thin blanket for a coat in the deepest cold, mentally somewhere else. Talking to him, he seemed not unhappy with his blanket and was sure that someone was coming to help him but not wanting help in the way of a coat. There was something unbalanced and unwholesome about him that I could feel. People like that are scary.

It actually is frightening to get into their space. They are off in a particularly unhealthy "broken" world. Somehow I always feel scared when I talk to them. I sense that I might somehow get sucked into the vortex and get broken like they are. "Broken like they are" applies to all manner of brokenness. Broken is scary in what ever way it is shaped and thus the person maintaining it is scary.

Into that picture you see God, the King of Creation and Glory who condescended to be born as a man, one of his creatures. He set himself right down smack dab in the middle of the brokenness of the world, and sure enough He got broken. At least it looked that way. But there is a miracle here at play.

He knew that it would be painful. He knew that it would cost Him his human life but, He also knew -that which breaks-evil, could not "break" His Life. That in entering His creature He transformed the ability of His creature to enter His Life and become One with It. By His physical birth, the Well-Spring of His Life was invested in us, giving us the doorway back to Him.

The (Life) Spring does not function very well unless we do the things that help it to flow, unless we get the lid of off of it and enlarge the opening. The Eucharist builds that doorway mystically. That is why it is important to participate in His Church.

He begins to operate fully within us and we grow in His Life in accordance to our allowing Him to enter ours.

We weed, He makes Life grow in abundance.

Faith in that Well -Spring Life not our life is the focus. All goodness flows from that kind of Faith.

Thanksgiving

2009-11-25T10:10:00.003-07:00

We are off tomorrow to spend Thanksgiving day with our children and new grandchild. What a lovely thing. I am taking wine and flowers. I think that is a great thing to be thankful for...imagine not cooking Thanksgiving dinner. Really sweet, on top of that spending a day in warm Albuquerque, with people that we love. Thanks be to God! I am looking forward to that!

I went to Albertson's and looked through their cut flower department, purchasing 3 bunches and then added some berries from a plant that I just love. I don't know what it is called, it has been growing in our front yard for about 30 years. We dug it up in the orchard at the top of the road. The seeds that started it had to come on the crest of the ditch water, flowing out of Taos Canyon. The shrub is a wonderful bird attractor because of the red berries and beautiful with bright orange leaves in the fall and yellow flowers against dark green leaves in the spring. I love to sit in my bedroom and listen to the birds talking about how good the berries are. They are very pleased about having such lovely things to eat.

I picked the wine at Susan's Fine Wine and Spirits in Santa Fe. The two wines were highly recommended by Nathan. They are Charles and Charles, Red 2007 and House Wine, The Magnificent Wine Company...both funny labels and happy looking bottles. Along with them are some Meiers Sparkling Catawba and Kristian Regale, Sparkling Ligonberry, Apple Juice. Sounds all good to me and looks very festive all in all.

Happy Thanksgiving to you!!!

That We All May Be One

2009-11-19T08:26:00.005-07:00

Tomorrow we are off to a memorial service for my dear brother, Bill.

I seem this morning to be very conscious of all of the people who are in my life. He being one of them. It is incredible how God has given us some people that we particularly focus on, people whose lives we share intimately. They feel part of us, yet separate and because they are separate we yearn for them to obtain the best and the highest that we know. Not knowing what they know and how they think in depth, in many ways we don't know them at all. In ways they are strangers.

My mind comes back to the line - 'that we all may be One'. Separation is a terrible thing.
It comes down to God (again and again). God knows them. God seeks the best for them.
God loves them deeply and thoroughly. In what way are they mine?

If I have something that I think is beautiful, something very special, I want to share it with people that I love (most of all!) If I have a treasure, I want them to have it too.
Prayer is the gateway to sharing the treasure. That is the way they are mine.

There is a beautiful line in the prayer service - 'Treasury of blessing, giver of Life come and abide in us cleanse us of every impurity and save our souls O Good One!'

The Kursk Icon of the Mother of God is visiting Santa Fe, St. Juliana's Church there...It will also visit Holy Trinity. I feel that it blesses us who will be gathering for the service as well. Knowing is a wonderful link.

The Kursk Icon is a Wonderworking icon and is highly venerated in the Orthodox Church. Found in the Kursk forests in Russia, it survived war, it escaped the Communist take over of Russia and has traveled now all over the world bringing blessing to all who venerate it, healing disease, hearts and minds.

May the Kursk Mother of God bless all of us gathering, may She bless those who will not be able to come, and may She intercede for us all at the throne of her son and our God, and give us great consolation!

A Pocket Full of Pups

2009-11-07T10:24:00.008-07:00

Here are some doggie home companions that are very sweet little friends. They belong to our daughter and they are temporarily being our pups. They follow me every where and like to sit wherever I am at work or play.

I was sitting here at my computer with the UPS tracking site pulled up, wondering what on earth has happened to my Mother's bathrobe, that was coming by UPS. Shows that it should be in Taos, even though it was supposed to go to Carlsbad.

I thought I heard a truck drive up in the front of the house. Lately have been thinking that I have been imagining that trucks driving up in front of the house and wonder where the sounds are coming from...but I guess what I heard are trucks, as there was one there. It and it's occupants were looking for my sister in law up the road. The young man that was driving looked familiar and I said, "Your face is familiar." He says, "UPS". In the conversation he gave me the telephone number for the local UPS office and said they will be open Monday at 8:00. Maybe I can pick up the robe before I head south to see her in Carlsbad.

That was interesting timing. It would have taken me all morning to research that. Our Lord and God, continually sends us consolations and delights in small mysterious ways.

Discernment

2009-10-30T15:00:00.002-06:00

From a dream:

The objects fit into the uniquely shaped case with no space left. Everything had its place and did not have to be squeezed in, yet there was no room either for things to rattle around. It was a perfect piece of packing.

Make the Shoe Fit

2009-10-20T05:59:00.010-06:00

I had a thought provoking dream in the night. Many dreams are worthless, sometimes imparting to one a sense of worthlessness or anger, or other destructive message, but this one had something interesting to look at.

In the dream there was a man with authority that was showing me some shoes. The person in the dream that he was speaking to was me, but not me. (an abstract me)... I felt that I was being shown a universal truth, as well as a personal one.

He pointed out some shoes, a certain style though the same brand that I wear, that x wore, who was no longer here. The shoes that x wore had certain virtues associated with them and not everyone was comfortable in them. He said that even though one could not become x, as x was uniquely him or herself, or even take x's place, there were qualities that x manifested, that were worth emulating. The shoes that x wore in this case represented x's Christ-Like qualities. This was not about power or a worldly quality, but this was about sweetness of soul, generosity of spirit and a loving understanding of others.

A caution here: Philipians 2:20-21 ie: Looking for someone likeminded- "For all seek their own, not the things of Christ Jesus."

There are some things that I have read in the past day that linger and somehow inhance this in my heart.

Yesterday was one of the commemoration days of St. John of Kronstadt, his death day. He was a truly great saint of this time. In his biography it says, "-John thought about the importance of forgiveness, meekness, and love, and came to believe that these were the very center and power of Christianity, and that only one path - the path of humble love - leads to God and the triumph of His righteousness." www.oca.org- under Feasts and Saints.

Another strong and most important idea from a book that I am reading has been circulating in my mind. When Jesus was in the garden of Gethsemane with His apostles, He knew that His arrest was immanent and He asked His apostles to wait with Him, to sit with Him. They couldn't do it, they kept falling asleep. He was clearly in a state of agitation, but they were not, and they could not share or understand His knowledge of what was ahead, and so abandoned Him to aloneness. The book that I am reading (which I would highly recommend, The Power of the Name, The History and Practices of the Jesus Prayer by Alphonse and Rachel Goetmann), points out that after the death and crucifixion of Jesus... He for whom his apostles could not wait, now waits with us and is present for us at our call. (The power of the Resurrection!) And indeed sticks to us like glue, as a Companion in our need. The call is the operative here, the heartfelt call to Him who is the Companion of all companions.

Remembering the beauty of the person who is gone,
Remembering meekness, forgiveness, and love,
Remembering Christ who is with us as a Companion, to help us grow and flourish in the best of ways if we ask for that direction;
...being mindful of those thoughts....it seems that the message of that dream is to practice the beauty of the loved one by holding it and cherishing it in the heart. That is the most fitting memorial to someone of great worth. To put on the shoes that represent the glory of that soul that God placed in human form, and wear that beauty as something seen and acknowledged.
Perhaps that is the way of keeping and cherishing that person who is alive in our hearts.

Quote for the Day

2009-10-14T08:27:00.002-06:00

Moses and the Burning Bush

“O, Moses, because you are straining with so great a desire for that which is before you and there is no weariness in your progress, know that the spaces around you are so vast you will never reach the end of your journey. Here there is only motionlessness. I set you on the rock; and now there occurs the most astonishing thing of all: for here to be in motion, and to be unmoving, are the same thing. Here he who advances stops, and he who stops advances, and he advances by the very fact that he is motionless.

De Vita Moyisi, 405 AD
Gregory of Nyssa

Pouring in Buckets

2009-10-13T07:37:00.005-06:00

This morning a thunder storm was brewing and rumbling in the mountain valleys and down the slopes. The dogs were worried and burrowed down under the covers with me and lay next to me in the darkness. The cat started meowing as well and so the better part of valor was to leap up and get on with the day. It was literally calling to us in a fine deep voice.

I have begun a painting for a fundraising event, a small retablo. This amounts to a board, that has been sanded...I coated it with many coats of gesso and am working on an image which pictures golden aspens in the top corner, with land falling away into deep mountain valley with a stream at the bottom. It is remembered from our trip into the mountains the other day, and actually many trips to places like this. There is one incredible view near Heron Lake south of Chama...the cliffs drop away like this, but it is a much rockier drop.

Always spectacular is that spectacle of land soaring above us or dropping to a depth below us.
I think perhaps because it is a surprise. One expects things to go on at the same level, in the same tone. I think people either seek out surprises, or they like to live where things remain flat and predictable. One faction has trouble understanding the other.
Now I can't tell you where this is going, but this is something to think about.

I for one love the unpredictable. I love to watch God work in it. My trouble comes when things are the same. I want to jump in the car and go somewhere else where the views wake me up out of what seems to be a sameness. Yet I know that every day has its variety. There will never be day that is the same. Perhaps the challenge comes in really seeing the day.

Here is a saint for you. Blind Matrona of Moscow. She was blind but was a great seer.

On Judgement

2009-10-11T07:44:00.006-06:00

If your Father in Heaven knew something negative about someone, true or not, would he repeat it to someone else, acknowledging that sinfulness and making it yet more real? God forbid!
Would He repeat it in His mind and turn it over, examining it in His mind, dwelling on it??? God Forbid!
A Loving God forgives. Ask forgiveness for the sin for your brother/sister and be finished with your thought of it.

Lord save us from judgement of our friends and neighbors and all we come in contact with.

Surprising Grace

2009-10-04T06:51:00.007-06:00

It is a beautiful cool dawn here. Silver light is shining through the Russian Olives outside my studio window. The frosts have come and nipped the growing things so the fields are golden. It is a nice thought that all the things that we grew in the garden are in the house and mostly dealt with in some form or another. Below is a photo of some plums our neighbor brought that made the most wonderful plum jam. Delicious!

I roasted tomatoes and onion with Italian herbs and garlic in a big turkey roaster day before yesterday, using a recipe from my daughter-in-law, Ayesha. It makes a wonderful pizza topper or spaghetti sauce.

Simply wash the tomatoes and add as much bay leaf, parsley, oregano, basil, onion and garlic (and whatever else sounds good) as you want, placing all in a roasting pan and roast in a 300 degree oven for as long as it takes to evaporate most of the liquid. Ours were particularly juicy tomatoes and so it took an afternoon and there was still to much liquid and so left them all night at 200 degrees, and then the next morning at 300 until noon. It was a very full roaster. I meant to take a picture of the pan full as it was so beautiful but...

I had to clean the oven, but it created the most wonderful toasty tomato sauce!

There are more ripening on the table, a bumper crop. We planted Early Girl which we have always had wonderful success with. There is also a good cherry tomato that is part of the mix. My husband says that compost mixed in with the soil when he plants is the secret of their success.

We had some surprise pumpkins that came up in the compost bin. I dug one up and planted it next to the irrigation ditch thinking that it was a winter squash, lo and behold it turned out to be pumpkin. I had the two that it produced in the house and found a third one that was still green before the hard frost.

I am always amazed at the surprises that gardening produces. One expects a certain outcome more or less, but there are always those remarkable surprises that show themselves and leave one somehow awed at the small unimaginable gift that comes or the abundance of the crop. What Grace! What delight!

God's Remarkable Timing

2009-09-20T19:32:00.010-06:00

My trip south was a timely one as my brother, William Edward (Bill) Wilson reposed in the Lord on Tuesday, on the afternoon that I arrived to be with my mother for a few days. It was rather amazing that I was there with her, a surprising thing.

On my visit to see my Mother we had spent the morning and afternoon driving all over the surrounding community visiting old and favorite spots. Mind you, that is two generations of favorite spots. We stopped in the afternoon a little after 4:00 at the cemetery to visit my father's grave.

It seemed strange and disorienting, as we tried to find the right row, for there was a canopy over the area about where my father's headstone should be. Then I thought maybe I had the wrong row, but I was in the right location. My mother's burial plot is next to my father's headstone and the canopy was at the grave plot next to that.

During the time that we were out of the car, my sister-in-law called and left a message on the phone notifying us of Bill 's passing. I had left the phone in the car and so didn't get it right away.

It was just so strange and lovely. Seemingly a message of Bill's passing into God's hands; A very gentle and sweet honoring of Bill, who was a very unique, loving and remarkable person.
May his memory be eternal!

Struggle

2009-09-09T08:07:00.003-06:00

This has been a period of struggle for me. My Mother who was living with us, fell and needed a lot of pretty intense nursing. She now is in a nursing home in our home town several hours from us. It is a beautiful place, a Christian nursing home and the people there reflect Christ. They are caring and very sweet, as is the community that is there.

There are still details that need to be taken care of and I plan to drive down there again this next week to see if they can be accomplished. There is also a certain worry about her though I know she is living where and how she wants to. It seemed to me that it was like I was taking her to college, in a way yes...though she is more helpless as she is almost blind and very hard of hearing, so worries about how she is able to get along. Something I need to shed as I know God is watching over her and that there are people there to help her.

This morning's reading of the Matin's Gospel speaks to that. It is one of my favorite readings and one that Mother and I discussed before she went off on this adventure.

John 10:9-16 (Matins Gospel)
9
I am the door. If anyone enters by Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture.
10
The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.
11
I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd gives His life for the sheep.
12
But a hireling, he who is not the shepherd, one who does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and flees; and the wolf catches the sheep and scatters them.
13
The hireling flees because he is a hireling and does not care about the sheep.
14
I am the good shepherd; and I know My sheep, and am known by My own.
15
As the Father knows Me, even so I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep.
16
And other sheep I have which are not of this fold; them also I must bring, and they will hear My voice; and there will be one flock and one shepherd.

In many ways I see myself (and my own ablility to help myself )as the 'hireling'. I am totally at the mercy of those that want to chase me away from the flock and my center which is Christ.

Here I am set to watch over myself and keep myself on the right road, in a happy space and at peace. Not so easy when one becomes shaken and troubled.

Jesus is the Shepherd, thank God! I just need to say 'Uncle' and let Him be the Shepherd.

The Tumbled Stone

2009-08-26T07:30:00.006-06:00

I have just received the advance copies of The Tumbled Stone, my new book printed by Holy Protection Monastery's, New Varatec Press. The printer did a beautiful job...Regent Printers, NY City...having that office here in the US and one also in Hong Kong, with the printing done in China.
The last email I got from Michael Buening, my contact in New York was trying to locate the Abbess of the monastery so that she could sign a power of attorney, for an attorney, to act as her agent in getting the books through customs. The letter came to me as an email attachment and was sent back to New Jersey to the brother of the Abbess, who then delivered it to her and it was then sent by mail to the Port Authority in Jamaica, NY. Only with email could something like that be accomplished so quickly!
I was involved with the pre-press work on this book, which I have not done before, and it was and is an amazing education. Who would think that there are attorneys whose job it is to get projects like this book through customs.
Once the paper with her signature is received on that end it will be trucked across the US to a small rural area of Colorado west of Colorado Springs. All in all an amazing process in how things get where they are going.
The book looks great. It is exciting to see it in a bound edition. I made some mock ups of the book to send to reviewers so it doesn't really seem as fresh and novel as it would have if I had not done that, but it is good to see all of the special additions to the graphic end of it that our daughter Catherine added. It looks very nice...though I still miss the purple end papers.

To order:

Call 719-748-3999 or write Holy Protection Monastery, P. O. Box 416, Lake George, CO 80827-Price $14.95

On Hold

2009-08-17T10:55:00.002-06:00

Just a quick note, My mother has fallen and broken her wrist, needing constant care now for two weeks. We are in an intense place and moving her into a nursing home possibly this week.
Of constant benifit to me in this time is the Jesus Prayer. Thanks be to God for this prayer of the heart.

Righteous Fr. Seraphim Rose

2009-07-20T07:22:00.005-06:00

I have a photo on the wall in my studio, that is a photograph of Fr. Seraphim walking down the dirt lane between the buildings at the Monastery of St. Herman of Alaska outside of Platina California. It is in the book that was published by the Brotherhood on him, Father Seraphim Rose, His Life and Works, by Hieromonk Damascene.

In the photograph it is a snowy morning. A light dusting of snow is on the ground around the buildings; but the road itself is mostly bare. The air in the distance behind the figure is a soft blur of fog or of light snow.

I love to look at the figure of Fr. Seraphim. The is a quietness and a peace about his form, a solidity in his walk and a presence in that photograph that makes me expect him to arrive here soon, for he is just a little bit down the road.

Several years ago I sat at his grave praying for something, I didn't really know what it was. God knows.

Now as I sit and look at his figure I think I was praying for that same peace and acceptance of life as it is in every moment which is given to us, as I perceive that I see in his figure. It is good to realize for myself what my prayer was about. I feel that knowing what one prays for is 85% of any prayer.

Photo courtesy of St. Herman of Alaska Brotherhood, Hieromonk Damescene, Author

Off for a bit

2009-07-08T20:55:00.002-06:00

I am off in the morning for a short trip to Colorado and will be gone for a few days.

Thought I had better get something written in my discipline of writing here once a week at least.

I picked up the book, Bread and Water, Wine and Oil by Archimandrite Meletios Webber. I have found the first chapter stunning. Some wonderful exploration of the human mind vs. the heart.

One that gives me pause to think. I am paraphrasing...When we see someone we don't know, we judge them in some way, peg them, so that the mind can understand them.

Hmm, said I, yes indeed that is true.

The author suggests a practice of being aware of that, and resisting that urge to do so.

Very thought provoking.

Saints Peter and Paul

2009-07-01T15:31:00.006-06:00

I found this wonderful Akathist on line at the website of St.s Peter and Paul Antiochian Church in Topeka, KS. Http://peterandpaul.net/node. ..if you too would like to have it.

What a treasure it was to pray this during the fast. How enriching! How lovely of that Church to provide food for the hungry!

As I proceeded in the fast I became curious where St. Peter and St. Paul's relics actually were in Rome. I knew of course that St. Peter's were under the Basilica in Rome and knew that St. Paul was was martyred at the same time according to Church Tradition...during the reign of Nero. Many Christians were martyred during that time. As Nero set fire to an area of Rome to destroy an unsightly neighborhood, much of Rome caught fire. As a result of the furor over so much of Rome burning, Nero, felt it expedient to blame the Christians as the culprits and the instigators of the trouble and so began the martyrdom of many.

I went again to Google Earth and explored the areas where the relics of St.s Peter and Paul are noted.

But that wasn't enough. I wished that I could understand more. I searched the web and came across the book, The Archeology of the New Testament, The Mediterranean World of the Early Christian Apostles by Jack Finegan, Westview Press, Croom Helm 1981. I ordered it and sure enough it provides much of the information that I had been seeking. The book discusses the tombs of those saints as well as providing information on others. It is hard to know where some of the place locations currently are from Bibical reference as many place names have been changed.

Mr. Finegan lists references of the writings by authors of the time , one of the things that I wished that I had access to, as well as mapping and the description of locations. I will include here this wonderful map of the catacombs, from page 32, of the above book,

which stunned me as I saw the names and locations of the relics of saints that are patrons to many in the Orthodox world. (Sadly this can't be any bigger than this, but get the book and you will love what you see.) This book is a wonderful treasury of information. If you are interested in knowing the early saints in a personal way this is a marvelous help in that journey.

I know a Pricilla (#4) for instance who would surely welcome this map.

I also have to say how very awesome where the lives and the energies of St.s Peter and Paul. What they did was stunning!

A Small Quiet Room

2009-06-23T15:38:00.008-06:00

I have always felt a special attraction to small quiet simple rooms. They always seem to contain in a very special way. I remember many small rooms that seemed to have special grace.

One of those was a very small room, I think it was actually a container that had been given wooden walls inside. There was nothing in it but chairs around a table. The feeling that lay under the "furnishings" was quite profound. It was in a Orthodox women's monastery, clearly that room had been used to pray in and to be focused on the One Thing Needful. That unseen but felt silence, filled the space in a way that nothing else could.

Another room that has been a special place, is an outdoor room. We seem, as we have lived in our home over the years, to have divided up the space into small intimate spaces. Not intentionally, but it was a home built in the 70's, and I guess for that reason the home itself has lots of small rooms. We had a lot of space around us and realized as we went along that somehow we needed the boundary that a fence offered in our back yard. It marked the area that we needed to care for, as well as giving a sense of order. As we got just a bit older, we decided that we didn't really want so much to care for and so closed off a small part of that yard and created a very small yard that has wild grass and things that need almost no maintenance.

My husband's study looks out on this little intimate yard. It has been the home of a little cottontail for about 5 years. My husband became very friendly with this rabbit and the rabbit grew used to my husband's voice and didn't feel like she needed to hide when he was close. She sensed my husband's regard for her I think. Sadly she died the other day, not the victim of one of the kiyi-ing coyotes, but seemingly of old age. He found her in the driveway with no apparent injury. He was very sad, not surprisingly. They saw each other all summer long for those years, enclosed in that small fenced yard that opened into the bigger view of the hill beyond and the mountain. The yard offered her protection and a small tree to sit under, with a hole between the aspen log fence into the car port, giving her a quick out, if the red tail hawk was cruising. That yard was the stage for that relationship, which is especially dear to my husband.

I have been pondering a small intimate room, a place free of things...a place to be still.

Thought For The Day

2009-06-13T10:14:00.007-06:00

As I have said before, I am highly interested in Pilgrimage. I would love to wander the world in search of Holy Sites.

My legs have been bothering me so much. I have been on a plan of doing errands, gardening etc. in the morning and keeping my legs up in the afternoon with leg rests also in the morning. I am going to call the knee doctor on Monday. I think I am going to have to have knee replacements.

At any rate I took an interesting journey the other morning. Checking into Google Earth I took a great trip and wandered around the island of Patmos. On Google Earth people have uploaded their photos which is helpful in getting a picture of what the island looks like and then I did a bit more research on the Cave of St. John.

Certainly not a perfect journey, missing are the larger stirrings of the heart, the smells and sounds...But none the less it was a pretty nice journey with an Akathist planned this evening to St. John the Theologian.

"Enlightening thy soul with an understanding of the true knowledge of God, thou didst follow thy good and gracious Master, learning the wisdom that flowed from His lips. On account of thy perfect innocence and virginal chastity, thou was beloved of Christ thy Lord. So hearken to us who cry to thee...." From the Akathist of St. John the Theologian

The true pilgrimage which is of the heart, is in prayer.

Of The Secular and The Spiritual

2009-06-02T06:24:00.010-06:00

I am reading a very interesting and thought provoking book. A book by Charles Taylor, it is called A Secular Age. It is a real brick of a book, that is going to take me many, many evenings to read, the kind of book that is so rich in thought that I can't read very far without wanting to stop and mull over what he has said for maybe 4 or 5 days. I guess I am looking at about a year for this one.

A look at the secular age is shocking. It is a sly thing that has crept upon us over time. I am brought to the thought that the thinking of past generations are very different worlds. The thinking of the present age is colored extensively by it.

I read the first few pages and thought, I don't know if I want to read this. (?)
After mulling it over and even dreaming about it, I see that it has great power to show me ways that are adverse to Christ's thinking and I will add, good to be aware of.

By encapsulating and simplifying Charles Taylor's point, the book classifies people's approach to life, the secular, being a living for what the mind can create and generate, as opposed to the spiritual life, in which there is something or someone greater than ourselves, or perhaps a third option of a mixture of both.

His book called me to think about my own thought process and the path that I live by...I have to say thinking out things is fun, but I certainly do not, or could not live only on the surface. There is too much that I see and feel as an under-current in life. Emotion and motion are very alive in my life. I had a dream in which this motion was the subject. I would have to say that my life is about pilgrimage. (That is, an awareness and discovery of what is under the surface.)

In my former life, before I became an Orthodox Christian, I was aware of lots of different spiritual motion that seemed to be popping up in many different areas. It was chaotic and alive in many different directions. I certainly could see how a variety of people believed different things about different spiritual paths.

In a dream that I had after reading the first few pages of The Secular Age, I was on a spiritual pilgrimage. Towards the end of it I was passing over a beautiful forest. It was a breathtaking view, with rolling green meadows, high lakes and deep cloud shadows in patches over the landscape. At the summit of the hills was a beautiful forest with tall stately trees that edged the rolling hills. The trees were amazingly tall and beautifully barked with almost a smooth skin and at the fullness of the growing leafy crown they burst into the most beautiful green leaves that were full of life and motion. I asked the person next to me..."What is that forest? It almost looks like Lórien." The Brit said, "Yes, Lothlórien." (The forest from Tolkien's, Lord of the Rings.)

I was astonished.

(The above image of the aspen forest is a poor representation of the lush forest mentioned, but perhaps you will get the drift.)

The next morning in my reading of the psalms I came across this from Psalm 95.

12 The fields and all things that are in them shall be joyful. Then shall all the trees of the woods rejoice 13 Before the face of the Lord, because he cometh: because he cometh to judge the earth. He shall judge the world with justice, and the people with his truth.

All of the sudden there was a realized structure and beauty to the Christian Orthodox path, a Profound Loving, Beautiful and Solid Reality that was deeper than the ocean and the night sky, and huge and beyond description. There was no question in my mind as to the Path.

How lovely the words of Charles Taylor were for they helped me see the reality that I walk in as well as the realities that I have walked in.

What a great blessing...on with the exploration of his words.

Indeed Good!

2009-05-26T11:26:00.005-06:00

Last week I had begun reading the Bronze Bow by Elizabeth George Speare. (Ages 6th grade up) I finished it last night. It is a remarkable book and I could see it would make a wonderful spring board as a whole study on the ministry of Christ. I would like to read this book again and interweave the life of Christ through the eyes of John with it.
How often Jesus brings me back over and over to Love. And how often I do not Love like I should. The central message of the Bronze Bow is that.
What a totally lovely book!

How Powerful This Is!

2009-05-22T09:29:00.006-06:00

John 8:51-59

51
Most assuredly, I say to you, if anyone keeps My word he shall never see death.
52
Then the Jews said to Him, "Now we know that You have a demon! Abraham is dead, and the prophets; and You say, 'If anyone keeps My word he shall never taste death.'
53
Are You greater than our father Abraham, who is dead? And the prophets are dead. Who do You make Yourself out to be?
54
Jesus answered, "If I honor Myself, My honor is nothing. It is My Father who honors Me, of whom you say that He is your God.
55
Yet you have not known Him, but I know Him. And if I say, 'I do not know Him,' I shall be a liar like you; but I do know Him and keep His word.
56
Your father Abraham rejoiced to see My day, and he saw it and was glad.
57
Then the Jews said to Him, "You are not yet fifty years old, and have You seen Abraham?"
58
Jesus said to them, "Most assuredly, I say to you, before Abraham was, I AM."
59
Then they took up stones to throw at Him; but Jesus hid Himself and went out of the temple, going through the midst of them, and so passed by.

What an incredible conversation and what incredible action!

I am reading a children's book right now that I have had on my shelf waiting to be read for about 2 years and here I am down towards the bottom of my 'to read pile' where it has been waiting. It won the Newbery Award in 1962 in an age in America that was still a very Christian time. I don't think it would get the same award now, but none the less, Elizabeth George Speare, writer of the Bronze Bow has made the life of Christ real enough...and the above quotation from the bible has haunted me all week because it fits so much into the dialogue of the story as well as being so very powerful in its own right.
This has been a week of slowing down. Much of it was related to a leg that was so sore that I could hardly function with swelling behind my knee (Baker's Cyst) and along my ankle. I have been going to a foot doctor in Taos, thinking that with such problems I had better start at my foot and move up towards the knee, dreading a knee replacement. Turns out that the swelling in my ankle that I attributed to a falling arch (O! The traumas of advancing age) was an inflamed tendon. A shot of cortisone has cured not only my foot but also my knee. Thanks be to God. What a miracle that is!!! What a remarkable thing to be pain free.

Mull This With A Cup Of Tea

2009-05-13T08:55:00.008-06:00

This morning my Mother and I were headed for Denver to visit my sister. I have had kind of a growly stomach the last few days and not much seems appetizing. My sister called and said she didn't feel great either, so we decided to lay low for now and connect a little later. My Mother is still abed so she probably is enjoying not having to leap up and get in the car to go.

This is a good example of the day not being what you had in mind...and actually, though I miss not seeing my sister, there is a great sense of peace in the day that hadn't been there before. A day to be still. Perhaps...

I wrote to a friend who is having trouble getting a book going...the flow of that conversation that came out in the email seems like a good program if one is stuck by time strictures and not quite knowing direction. As I looked over this I thought I would like to do this too.

I am working on a story that is a young adult novel. I have been working on it for about 4-5 years now (only) and think I know its path, but it does seem to have a life of its own. I would really like it to have its own life and see where it goes.

I am thinking it would be a good way to get back into the story. The other things that I have been working on are on the shelf or almost so.

1.Picture book The Tumbled Stone has gone to the printer
2. CD project, Abbess Thaisia - editing almost finished

Here is the plan.

On your book. Count out the right number of pages with computer paper (32) (staple them together so they stay put.. then...write on your book page by page - what you already have... If it is a picture book then really all you need is one thing..text..long or short for every two pages as illustration might cover one of those pages or both. Use a printed book of your children's to get the layout. Doesn't matter which one you pick just use the first one that surfaces. ie page 1 title, page 2 credits, page 3 dedication or info...Page 4 now you begin the story.

Open your book to the part that you want to start on and pray and think about that page all day. Maybe keep a note pad in your purse/pocket/car (in this case a children's picture book) Then after you put the children (or?) to bed. Write down what you thought about that page that seemed good. Don't worry if it doesn't make sense. Just write it down and the next day pick up the next page and pray/think what should be on it. And keep going don't stop until you get to 32 pages. "Your story may change as you go along and not be the story that you originally intended. That is OK. God is helping you write it. See where He wants you to go. It is really a wonderful game that He will play with you. Who could be a better friend!! Doesn't even matter if it isn't great. You will have a great time doing it. Forget about making it important or REALLY meaningful. Just do it.

So I will leave you too with this thought. Where would you go with it?

Doubt

2009-05-05T15:04:00.008-06:00

Fr. John, talked about doubt these last two Sundays.

The first sermon was about doubt. A) The doubt that confronts one ie: not being sure about something. (Taking more time and research to understand.) B) The doubt that is double-mindedness. He gave the example of Peter asking Jesus to tell him (Peter) to come to Him, as Jesus walked on the water. Peter started out and he was doing fine, only to 'doubt' and sink.

The second sermon reiterated his summation of doubt. I was glad that Fr. John did that, as I had forgotten that was his original premise in the previous sermon.

I find that usually after Pascha, I am somehow waiting for direction, what is next. It seems a new beginning. So often I have ideas that I am dwelling upon, paths to take, choices to make that seem after Pascha to be unanswered. I guess I feel that I should immediately know a firm direction after the Resurrection. I forget that His disciples didn't know what was next until the coming of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost.

I find the second state, double-minded doubt to be often part of making a decision. I start out with an idea that usually is a change in direction, and then the opposite comes into the picture and I can't decide between the two and am in a state of confusion. I often think that the new thought is the better idea of the two that war against each other. My Mother pointed out that perhaps the second thought, maintaining the status quo, is the better of the two.

Don't know if you have that confusion? Perhaps both are the true path, this and that?

At any rate I thought...God is faithful. He will convict me of what he wants of me.

Faith, confidence in God's plan is the erasing of doubt. Also what an interesting thought to... hyper me...this is a time to sit and be still.

Bright Week

2009-04-27T14:30:00.004-06:00

Often it seems that Bright Week, the week following Pascha is a struggle for me. I did some writing about it. Fr. John addressed that issue on Sunday, so it seems apparent that others also have the same problem that I experience. He spoke about Christ before the Ascension exhorting His disciples to tell others what they had witnessed. Act on your faith in Jesus' Resurrection.

I thought also as he was speaking of the mindfulness of putting Pentecost in the forefront during Bright Week.

In prayer earlier in the week, some other thoughts came to mind.

At Pascha the Eucharist must be especially powerful with a strong renewing characteristic to it.

Powerfully, Christ renews us yearly so that we grow in Him continually with growth spurts at the time of Pascha. The fasting and ascetic disciplines that are part of the Lenten season add to our ability to prepare ourselves for new growth. (Emptying ourselves of a focus on the good things of life so that we are focused on Christ in it.)

In an Akathist to the Resurrection which I read this morning, in Kontakion 1, there is this line: "I thy servant renewed and recreated by Thee..."
Recreated...now that is an interesting thought. How about using Bright week to be watchful of being recreated. One wouldn't probably see that in a week, but certainly that is a fruitful thought and the beginings of those stirrings are there.
The idea of the thought that we are saved once and for all, doesn't reflect the gift that we continue to be saved again and again, recreated again and again...saved from our own falls and sinful choices, so that we can grow continually more and more into the likeness of Christ. (Theosis)

An interesting exercise would be to write down during the week...or weekly until Pentecost ways we see that we are being recreated each week.

The Tumbled Stone

2009-04-25T15:29:00.007-06:00

I have just gotten my new children's book, The Tumbled Stone, to the press that will print it in China, for my publisher Protection of the Holy Virgin's publishing arm...New Varatec Publishers. The abbess, does not currently have a web presence but can be reached through her address...P. O. Box 416, Lake George, Colorado, 80827, or phone 719-748-3999. She travels to conferences with her books and bookstore and also does women's retreats.

Because the monastery is small with not a lot of people, I did the managing of the production of the book as well as the writing and illustration of it. Much of that part of it I could do, but came to a stumbling block with the graphics preparation of the images. Wonderfully, my daughter Catherine stepped in and did that portion of the job for us in InDesign. She did a beautiful creative job on the cover and I was very impressed with her ability!! During daylight and work week hours she is a administrator in a University Medical School Library.

From the back of the book:

"A pilgrim finds a smooth stone on the island of St. Herman of Alaska. In it God speaks to him of the Saints of North American."

I think it is a very pretty book. Lots of nice color. Sadly my artistic heart was broken that the purple end sheets which I was hoping to have would have added $.30 to the cost of each book. Ouch!

Had to decide that the book was saying an important message not the end sheets.

Christ is Risen

2009-04-21T06:19:00.004-06:00

A Blessed Pascha!
As the fire illuminates the darkness of the Church in the late hours of the eve of Pascha, may Christ light your heart also! What a beautiful celebration at Holy Trinity Church.

I always think of that fire and the mystical fire in Jerusalem.

There was a wonderful article a few years ago in Again magazine by Fr. George Hill (Vol.28, No.2, 2006) who made the trip to the Holy Sepulcher a Pascha for that purpose. He went through much struggle to achieve entry to the church and was rewarded by holding in his had a candle with the mystical fire of God; a fire that does not burn but heals.

"Cries of 'Axios' went up as the patriarch made his way around the tomb, ...I waited with my eyes glued on the Holy Tomb itself, when all of a sudden I heard a woman scream from the balcony. I looked up and saw blue-colored flashes of light flying around in all directions and an orange burst of flame arising from the center of the tomb. I saw the torches the patriarch bore as he exited the tomb, and in a matter of seconds I had the flame on my candle!

"The flame was hot. It was fire, but it did not burn. I moved my hands in it until they were black with soot. I held my hand directly above the flame, close enough to roast a marshmallow or blacken a hot dog, and there was nothing but deep warmth. As I put my hand deeper into the flame , it got hotter until the flames were leaping through my fingers. I pulled my hand out because it got uncomfortably hot, but there was no burn whatsoever!"

Fr. George sums up his article with these words...

"We don't have to go to Jerusalem, every Pascha is a wonderful blessing from the Lord, but becoming one with Him though His Body and Blood is infinitely more profound. It brings us remission of sins and life everlasting, which is truly the miracle of miracles."

Christ is risen from the dead, trampling down death by death and upon those in the tomb bestowing life!

Christ is Risen!

Great and Holy Friday

2009-04-17T06:40:00.005-06:00

Crucifixion from

St. Catherine's Monastery

in the Sinai

Great and Holy Friday has dawned. I awoke thinking of the death of Love. Imagine that, what a heartbreaking,frightening, horrifying thing that would be! Thanks be to God we know that the outcome of Good Friday as a glorious Pascha!

I am counting on going to the early service, but here we see 3-4 inches of snow with the coming light of morning. I live an hour and a half away from church with winding roads in between. Once I almost skidded off of the road on a snowy morning with a deep canyon to one side and a deep depression on the other, not realizing my tires were not as good as I thought they were. I turned around that day and came home again. I will try it this morning. We live off of the beaten track. I will at least go out and check and see what the highway is like. You never know.

At any rate...here is a wonderful reading...not complete but a wonderful section of it, from John 14:28-15:13 (The whole reading is John 13:31-18:1 (Matins, 1st Passion Gospel)

28 You have heard Me say to you, 'I am going away and coming back to you.' If you loved Me, you would rejoice because I said, 'I am going to the Father,' for My Father is greater than I.
29 And now I have told you before it comes, that when it does come to pass, you may believe.
30 I will no longer talk much with you, for the ruler of this world is coming, and he has nothing in Me.
31 But that the world may know that I love the Father, and as the Father gave Me commandment, so I do. Arise, let us go from here.
1 I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser.
2 Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit.
3 You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you.
4 Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me.
5 I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.
6 If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned.
7 If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you.
8 By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.
9 As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.
10 If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love, just as I have kept My Father's commandments and abide in His love.
11 These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.
12 This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.
13 Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends.

Metropolitan Jonah...On Lent

2009-04-13T11:30:00.007-06:00

Metropolitan Jonah, Sermon on the book of Mark Chapter 10 @ Yahoo! Video

Breakfast

2009-01-12T06:21:00.005-07:00

This is very good to my mind. I can't say that I really understand it, to be able to totally practice what he (Metropolitan Jonah) is talking about, but I would deeply like to.
I have read in the bible that God is I AM but never thought of I AM as me, always Other. He is saying here that I AM is me as well as God, our oneness, in the depth of each of our souls. That is something to deeply ponder today.

(click on image to enlarge)
The Photo is from STREAMS OF INSPIRATION,
Monastery of St. John of San Francisco; Volume 2, Issue 2
written by (then) Abbot Jonah

A Dream

2009-01-08T06:38:00.004-07:00

I had an interesting dream this morning.

I was working with a group of people. If I became slowed on part of an operation or in knowledge, another person would step in with the information that would enable what ever it was that I (and thus we) was/were doing to move forward. There were some very high tech projects going on in the dream and some of us were really at a loss to provide the answer. However there was no hesitation in the process...A phone would ring wherever we were, sometimes in an alley, sometimes in a building, once at a museum with ancient bones, and the answer would be provided to one of us who would then step in and accomplish the thing that needed to happen for the job to be completed, so that we could move on to the next thing.

Upon waking I thought- what an amazing concept! That we all may be one. Hmmm

Doesn't that require that the individual be humble?
Doesn't that require community in a remarkable way???
Isn't it interesting that the answer was always provided and the the One who knew could find us no matter where we were. There was complete trust in that One, with no suspicions as to motive or ability.

What a blessing. That we all may be One!

All we have to do is allow the other man in to provide the answer. And perhaps it is we who are the provider in an instance and so we step in with the key. (ie: someone requesting something of us. Money? Goods? Energy? Time?)

And taking this thought into understanding...does it bring joy to my heart to do it, knowing that I am doing it for the One, rather than to only please the individual. Is it in agreement with the One?

May we all be One... in Jesus Christ our Lord and God!

Deep thoughts

2008-12-08T14:04:00.009-07:00

If a road that is traveled ends up in a dead end, a dark place, there is a ladder there with which to climb out.

(see Ladder to Heaven, St. Catherine's Monastery, Sinai, icon)

That establishes you in life again, but you have to grasp something that has meaning to you in a physical earthly sense and work with it, turning your back, time and time again on the dead end roads that try to destroy you.

If I think that something that I am doing has real value, it will have to be worked at, even to blood letting, to make it succeed and to give it life. God wants us to be truly committed to what we give our energy.

Today's thought

2008-11-19T07:34:00.002-07:00

The very act of living in the world makes people mad at you. If you did not act you would not be alive. So what do you do? Jump into the chaos and start jabbing with your elbows? Forget Peace?

It is Peace that makes the world liveable. 'WHERE is God?' (Elder Joseph the Hesychast)

God is not in the reasonable voice, but in the silence.

poverty and neediness

2008-11-08T08:24:00.003-07:00

The poor shall be satisfied - means remain in poverty (and need). There in lies the path to happiness and salvation.

When I try to fix the problem, bestiality and arrogance get in the way and I fall into sin and pain of heart.

Obedience

2008-10-21T07:21:00.008-06:00

Luke 9:23-27 (Gospel reading)
23
Then He said to them all, "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me.
24
For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it.
25
For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and is himself destroyed or lost?

Obedience is one of the hardest disciplines to follow. It is loss supposedly of one's own free will. But is it not free will to be obedient?
Picking up the Cross and carrying it for someone else's imposed desire, means personal sacrifice, but in that... there appears freedom.
Obedience is not only to the person mandating the goal. Obedience is to a larger perspective. It is to God. Only then can the role that you have accepted be taken to the highest Good. For no human being is without sin. No matter the highest aim of the human that we follow, they are still human and imperfect.
My sense is that obedience to a person is victimhood. But when we take obedience to a higher level then it is transformed into a positive higher perspective and rather than victimhood there arises strength. Not strength of our own, but the strength of God's will in that situation. One feels that strength and can move in it. That truly is FREEDOM.
Accompanying that obedience is the prayer that this is God's will and He is working in that passage.

A new way to look at action

2008-10-10T08:58:00.002-06:00

I was editing a cd that I am working on. St. John of Kronstadt to Abbess Thaisia...
I am paraphrasing.

What you do in the material world takes on a material semblance. It is how you do what you do. Do you do it for others or do you do it for God?

What a big difference it would be in my process if I thought that what I was doing for others, (sometimes wishing I didn't have to), I am really doing for God.
I have heard that in other ways before, but it never hit me in quite the same way. How alive that makes Jesus Christ! How joyful that would be to know that your operation for others was bigger than a day to day routine. That, I think, would make me more careful in agreeing to something that I casually agree to do and more aware when I commit myself. There are times that suddenly I am confronted with something I need to do for someone else and in those cases, YES, is a submission to God.
Hurray. What a wonderful thing to have been shown.

Mary and Martha

2008-10-07T08:28:00.002-06:00

"Today there is a great quarrel between "Martha" and "Mary", over who has chosen the good part. In the monasteries, as everywhere, Martha dominates Mary and does not let her pray much, while Mary weeps inconsolably. If we would put the church and the praise of God first, (Mary) and obediences and handiwork second (Martha), then all our monasteries and churches would be spiritually reborn and the devil would flee from men."

Elder Paisius Olaru
(Councils from Contemporary Romanian Elders, The Orthodox Word, #162, 1992, p.38)

The Martyrs Sophia and her Three Daughters, Faith, Hope and Love (Charity)

2008-09-17T08:49:00.003-06:00

"And we who of old were slain by the crime of eating of the tree, have been restored to life by the tree of the Cross."

The land owner's neighbor was driving down the road, and turned into the common road. A car was parked in the road and a woman was taking a ripe apple from one of the trees. "Private Property", the neighbor said loudly. "Yes, I know", the woman responded, "I just couldn't stand it, I had to have one."
"Yes, I know." The landowner said, and chuckled.
"Just like Eve", she added to herself.

Which was the guilty party? The one that took the apple, or the one that laughed at her crime?

The Elevation of the Cross/ St. Euphemia Great-Martyr

2008-09-16T08:23:00.002-06:00

The Menaion, From Ode 1 for September 16

Tracing and upright line with his staff, Moses divided the Red Sea for Israel, which was traveling on foot; and striking it a transverse blow, he brought the waters together over the chariots of Pharaoh, thereby inscribing the invincible weapon of the Cross. Wherefore, let us hymn Christ our God, for He hath been glorified.

The Elevation of the Cross

2008-09-14T07:41:00.003-06:00

The Jesus Prayer, "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me the Sinner",

is the river.

This morning- Forefeast of the Elevation of the Cross

2008-09-13T08:14:00.002-06:00

I realize when I think of the way my early life was, how aware I was of God in the world around me.
The river was the symbol of that. The changes the river presented, the hidden life in it, just under the surface and not bound by rules. It set the rules. If you didn't behave within the boundaries of the nature of the river itself, you would pay the consequences. The consequences were cause and effect. That was the way it was, there was no question as to behavior there.
If you were loud the fish that were a delight, would vanish. You had to come up for air. But the air above the river was as alive as the river below the air.
Sometimes the river flooded. It ripped away the grass and uprooted trees as it grew in fullness, and speed. It left an ugly scar, but in time the growth would be restored and in fact more vibrant. I recognized God in all of its forms.
This morning as I woke up, I saw that part of my life. It was my first understanding of God. I continue to look for God in that way. Being outside takes me there. I can feel God in the trees, the grasses, the animals moving in the grass or skittering across the road, the raven croaking in the top of the cottonwood or again black wings pushing the air with in a loud whoosh.
I see God's movement in people. Often below the surface of the eyes, like looking into the depth of the river, is a deeper movement. I feel that in myself as well, God living within me. Christ's suffering on the cross has brought that to me, to us.

"Rejoice wood fragrant with life, and treasury of wonders!" Akathist to the Precious Cross

If I set rules, things that have to be done... I stifle. If I attach great store to physical things that is as much a killer of God's Presence. That Presence is what life is about. That Presence is what fires life in the true meaning of the word.
If I can be AWARE and looking for the motion of God, if that is the thing that truly fires my life, then my life is with God, no matter the strange looks that I might receive. 'Lord have mercy', I can whisper to those that wish to direct me away from the moment and then conversely is the discipline that a moment may require, obedience.
I feel now within myself His motion towards the doing of something that needs to be worked on. I wonder, do I really need my lists?
Back to the old and sometimes worn out, and always fresh, 'living in the moment'.

From St. John of Kronstadt, "I beheld the Lord ever before me that I might not be shaken." Ps 15:18 Abbess Thaisia, An Autobiography p. 252